If you look at the Qur'an (anybody done that recently?) you would see that, polygamy is not a right given to every muslim men or an order from god. It is simply PERMITTED in unsual instances.
If you deem it best for the orphans, you may marry their mothers - you may marry two, three, or four. If you fear lest you become unfair, then you shall be content with only one, or with what you already have. Additionally, you are thus more likely to avoid financial hardship. Surah Al-Nesaa', (4:3)
Look at the context or history of this verse. This verse was reveleaved after 'Uhud', where a lot of men died, their wives widoewed and children orphaned. Polygamy was purely allowed in order to protect the orphan kids. ALSO pay close attention to the latter part of that verse. You have to be FAIR to all the wives in all instances.
The same Surah verse 129 states that:You can never be equitable in dealing with more than one wife, no matter how hard you try. Therefore, do not be so biased as to leave one of them hanging (neither enjoying marriage, nor left to marry someone else). If you correct this situation and maintain righteousness, GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful. Here its crystal clear to me, as Human beings you can never treat all your wives equally.
Therefore the only sane conclusion you can make here is that polygamy is not permitted.
Now you out there. Some please convince me that this is legal in islam? (other than the mentioned instance?) .Especially wahabi's and the adhalath parteys.
Athena said:"If you ask me, its just a bunch of Bullshit. If a women clad from head to toe worries you, then you are the pathetic sod! Oh yeah , don't forget the so called mullahs!. If you think they are taking over then its your fault for listening to bunch of idiots. So stop worrying about them and start worrying about yourselves."
ReplyDeleteso I say the same : "Athena if a man married to 2, 3, or 4 wives worries u , thn u are one pathetic sod! oh yeah dont forget the so called "wahhabis"!"
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteyou know why it bothers Athena, when a man is allowed to marry more than one. Sometime in the future she may have to share her husband with another woman.
Under no circumstances I will agree to share my wife with another man, likewise, I don't expect women to accept it (to share thier spouses with other women) Religion or no religion. Religion is for the good of us, humans. We cannot harm God by doing or not doing something. The deeds or misdeed of ours only belongs to us and we are ultimately responsible for them.
If we feel some law or regulation or commadment is not in our best interest, we have the right to change it, or not to follow it- in the case of religion (as we cannot change religion) .
If polygamy is practised in this modern world, I believe it is accepted because of ignorance and coercion and in most cases the women's helplessness. So I urge women like Athena to come forward and help these sisters of yours, instead of sitting and saying who cares if they are clad in ninja suits.
Now, now, now, I tried to help a few sisters, but being a man they have no appreciation for me to get involved in a totally feminine affair.
Dear Anonymous
ReplyDeleteFirstly YOU didn't have the guts to sign your name even or even a known alias. It DOESN'T worry me that a man might have 1, 2, 3, or 4 wives, BUT it does worry me that they do it in the name of ISLAM and as a reason to fulfilling an Islamic obligation
Mohamed
ReplyDeleteThis is not a feminine affair, right now a lot of men are hurting a lot of women and their children. It is a shame, since polygamy was only allowed to prtect the children and women.
Athena
ReplyDeleteSorry, I have not made myself clearer. I said a feminine affair to pinpoint the views of women in wearing their Ninja Suits.
I totally agree with you that in Islam, the rules and laws are made for the good of humans. There could be loopholes in these rules for modern day people.If these rules are misinterpreted or distorted and abused in order to fulfil the fantasies of the vicious and the wicked, new rules are to be made by us, to protect Islam from being tarnished by actions of a few. In my view, polygamy has to be criminalised like slavery.
If there is any woman in this modern world who advocates polygamy, please come forward and give me one good reason for it.
Yes, yes, machos (men), pls do not lobby for polygamy. Being a man I know how you feel about having 3 to 4 wives.So I am not going to comment on no man's pro-polygamy advocacy.
Athena, I forgot one thing, with or without polygamy men are hurting women and thier children wolrdwide.
ReplyDeleteThe only solution for this problem is educatiing women and more genuine financial independence for women.
This is not going to be easy in a male dominant environment. Women have to work very hard to overcome this scourge. Men will only give lip service to the cause, but when it comes to action, they chicken out.
I worship at your temple Athena but I'm gonna have to disagree. Religion is not the main issue here either. People fuck around and if there are laws to legitimate their infidelity then, all the better. I have personal experience in this regard and what I've begun to notice is that marriage as an institution doesn't always stand the test of time. Call it cabiin fever but living together in such close quarters changes love to hate and even more depressingly sometimes indifference. If accepted polygamy can revive the dying institution of marriage well then kudos to it. If not, well then its not really to blame. At the risk of being hated by all my fellow feminists I have to point out that why men cheat is sometimes brushed over. A close examination reveals men going through midlife crises go through as much heartbreak as disillusionment as the poor scorned woman. She just gets all the sympathy so she hardly ever wonders whether it was no one's fault but a mutual breakdown of affection.
ReplyDeleteDearest Mohamed
ReplyDeleteFeminine affairs are not limited to females in "ninja suit" hehe I really hope so atleast. Regarding your views about educating women, I am all for it BUT, I think men should join them as well. In some cases, it men who need the education rather then the women folk.
Hamza, I fell for you
This is an issue very close to my heart too.
Marriage doesn't necesarrily last, but cheating is cheating is cheating. Whatever the reason, there should be no cheating, if someone is not happy then get out of it and go look for other venues of happiness.
And I agree with you, Men are overlooked when it comes to sympathy and emotional support. I think the trick is not to play the "BLAME GAME".
as for polygamy coming to save the dying institute of marriage, can you explain what you mean by that?
My temple is always open to pious worshippers.
Athena.
ReplyDeleteYes, in some cases men need education but in the majority of cases it is women who needed the education on the subject. Even with education, humans (especially men) have a tendency to abuse the power unless otherwise some pressure is applied. This pressure can be put into force if the women know how and have the right instruments (institutions).
What I meant is that if educated, informed, uncoerced and consenting adults want to live in a polygamous relationship and that actually works for them, there's no reason that a state-sponsored directive should break them up. We're all pretty much polygamous aren't we? The difference is some people put it on paper. So I respectfully ask your holiness not to sacrifice multi-partner hookups on your altar just yet. We're in the process of redefining families now with same-sex partners, surrogacy, adoption and a whole plethora of innovations. Plus don't you think it's too simplistic to say that once we're sick of a relationship we can just walk out?
ReplyDeleteHamzah,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you as long as polygamy is practised in the status as you have metioned and on condition that it is applicable to both sexes (men and women) equally. No problem at all, no, NOAAH.
Hamza
ReplyDeleteIf consenting adults wants to practice polygamy, then by all means go for it. My issue was not exactly about legalizing or illegalizing polygamy. My problem with it was, A lot of men use Islam as an excuse and abuse that right to obtain more wives, without thinking of the consequences and not caring about who they hurt in the process. It burns down to men thinking that it is their god given right!
And I apologise for the comment about just walking out. It was very crude and insensitive. Always try to bring the problems to the table and do every possible thing before you can walk away, but still don't believe that cheating is the answer.
Mohamed. my dearest deluded.
You seem to agree that men posses power over women. and that some abuse it. But yet , still you seem to think that women should get educated about this power and learn how to avoid the wrath of men. or empower themselves and join the fight? doesn't that just creat more havoc? I should know after all I am the goddess of war as well.
"Power comes with Great Responsibility" - Spiderman.
If not from me, then learn from a superhero atleast.
Men have the power for now, and they should educate themselves and be more responsible, and women should edcuate themselves and empower themselves, but not to teach men!
Athena.
ReplyDeleteSimply put, I don't understand you.
Educating women is not to confront man physically, but as a deterrence, and yes, of course to learn ways in which to avoid the wrath of men. Power comes with Great Responsibilty, but Absolute Power corrupts.
mohamed
ReplyDelete"Educating women is not to confront man physically, but as a deterrence, "
Can you read that again? and listen to what you are saying!
Why should we ever have to protect ourselves against men?? Its men who have to change.
it like saying, little children have to educate themselves on how to be protective against their abusive parents or mothers? in this case woudn't you say, its the parents that have to take parenting classes on how to be better? Maybe not a good example, but it hits home doesnt it?
And its not easy to understand me. Normal women are said to be from venus, simply put I am from Olympus
Of course, if these abusive parents do not educate themselves and stop abusing the children instead of parenting them and the Big Brother is unable to protect the children from parental abuse, what solution do the children have other than find ways to avoid the wrath?
ReplyDelete"Why should we ever have to protect ourselves against men? Its men who have to change."
Good question but partly wrong answer. Why do we have to protect our wealth against robbers? Why do we protect our children from child molesters? Why do we spend millions of rufiyaas on defence? Why do we have a home minstry with a fat budget to protect the citizens from criminals? Why this ..........why that, instead of educating the rogue elements in the society. You answer me, Athena.
And you have over-emphasized my point on educating women and forgetting the importance of women's financial dependence.
Yes, I admit that you are not a normal woman and that sure makes our dialogue more interesting.
Mohamed, you're telling it like it is and Athena you're telling us how it should be. I guess goddesses aren't the passive observers I thought they were :D.
ReplyDeleteOh well
ReplyDeleteLets just give this a rest shall we. I agree to disagree and move on. What say you?
what about slave women? cant we marry them and free them?
ReplyDeleteslave women? is there any such thing in the world now???
ReplyDelete